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31 December 2005 Seasons of Love In a little more than 3 hours, we will say farewell to 2005. Ah, 2005. What a crazy year it has been. Through all the ups and downs, 2005 was quite a memorable year. Lessons I have learned in 2004 have been applied to 2005, and even more lessons were learned. I was exposed to even more experiences, and I met quite a lot of people who - to 525,600 minutes... how do you measure a year in the life? Measure in love... Ah, love. Passion. Passion is all it takes, as blueREP's motto says. And passion and love definitely reflect what 2005 was like. I must warn you, this is going to get long and rambling. 2005 was about theater. I realized in 2004 that without theater, life was, well, crappy. In 2005, I built on that realization and pursued a life in theater. I started off the year with a pair of auditions for major professional productions, Beauty and the Beast and Once on this Island. I didn't make the cut for either, but it was quite the experience, one I'm glad I shared with blueREP. Then May came, and I was occupied with two projects for blueREP. One was a corporate show organized by PeopleIgnite for Microsoft, Magical Microsoft Adventure. I played Dad and Encarta. It was fun, especially given the reaction of the kids. A few issues aside, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The other was a revival of 2004's comedy hit Mr. 80%. Once again, I played Leslie. It was just as fun the second time around, and it helped that we had two casts, new people to work with, a bigger budget (we actually had a set), and two remarkably talented guest actors, Gabe Mercado and Missy Maramara. Both shows started rehearsals in May and were staged in June. Juggling two productions was rather difficult, particularly since the Microsoft project was sandwiched between Mr. 80%'s two weekends. Then came Blue Revue. Out of the blue, I was asked to be Head Stage Manager for the event. It was a lot of fun! I got to know this year's batch of newbies, and it was an amazing experience. They're one of the most well-bonded groups I've seen, and after such a short time together, too. Some of them have even become my closest friends. Working with Macky was also great, and it reinforced the idea that he and I are quite alike in many, many ways. I'm glad I got to know him on a much deeper level than in Merrily We Roll Along. But above all that, it was my first official exposure to the backstage and tech sides of theater, and it made me appreciate the difficulties of both. It's hard. It really honed both my nurturing side and my obsessive-compulsive side as well; even after the production, I can't seem to shake either side of me. I'll definitely treasure that experience, both on a personal and a professional level. At the same time that I was running like a headless chicken behind the scenes of Blue Revue, I was also shuttling to and from Kamuning, where I was rehearsing for my first professional production. The show was SAWI: Single Ako, Warning Ito a one-act comedic play written by Jihan Estrella and directed by Niel de Mesa for Koine. I played Viktor, a typical dumb jock plagued with bouts of gayness. It was an awesome experience; I learned so much from it, largely from the fact that I was working with a more varied group of people as well as working with Niel. Right after that, I went into juggling two more productions for the third strecth of time in a row. Rehearsals started for blueREP's major production for this schoolyear, Sweet Charity. I'm enjoying working with Chari Arespacochaga again, and ManMan and Kyla are great as well. And this time around, not only do I have a name (Herman, the pimp), I also have my own song ("I Love to Cry at Weddings")! At the same time, I co-starred in another Koine one-act play, Sampung Minuto Bago Makaraos, written and directed by Niel. I played Matandang Lalaki. (I still have two more shows of Sampung Minuto Bago Makaraos on January 7 and 14. Contact me if you want to watch.) Two more projects popped up in December. I was AD/SM/Spinner for December Hints of Mistletoe, the Christmas presentation of Temple Hill International School, thanks to Niel. And I'm a cast member in a Fine Arts Festival production, Kung Paano Maglakbay sa Penny Lane, written by Jihan and directed by Raph Doval-Santos (I play Sgt. Pepper). And aside from all that, I went back to writing, and I completed my first one-act play, Civil, which I'm hoping will be staged in the new year. I've also started writing a few other projects, and hopefully I can continue writing in the new year. I love theater and everything about it. I especially love performing, but I appreciate dipping into other aspects as well. In 2005, I immersed myself in living a life that more or less revolves around theater, and I hope to continue living it in the new year. I have learned and experienced so much, and I can't wait to extend that in 2006. Just as my professional life started to bloom in 2005, so did my personal life. 2005 was also about friendship, and all the wild and crazy things I go through with these "good and crazy people, my friends" (quoted from Company). When I celebrated my birthday in September with my old friends, they said they were happy I joined blueREP because it really helped me come out of my shell. In 2005, I experienced even more new and crazy things with the friends I met in blueREP. Well, for starters, I started drinking, hehehe. And wow, that just opened me up to a whole new world of experiences. Of course, I can't really elaborate on what these experiences were (rest assured they were nothing too dangerous or stupid... just a little bit dangerous and stupid sometimes, I suppose, as is expected when alcohol enters the picture), but they're experiences I'll always keep in my heart and mind. In summer, I really got to know and got close to Mia, which is something I'm very happy about. We've been through and shared so much this year; in fact, a good number of my memories from 2005 were related, directly and indirectly, to her. So Mia, thanks for the memories. (Egads, that sounded like a eulogy.) As I mentioned above, I also met and got to know the newbies. I think it would be unfair to give special notice to even a handful of them, so I guess a general "thank you" will do. (If you feel you've done something extra-special, pat yourself on the back.) I've been through so much with my friends. I've gotten to know quite a few of them on a much, much personal level, and I would like to thank you for the trust you have bestowed upon me. I promise to continue to uphold your trust in 2006... and beyond. And to the special people who made life even more interesting for me... ;) Aside from my love of theater and the love of my friends, 2005 also allowed be to love myself a little more. It's not as self-centered as it seems, especially if you consider how much I didn't really love myself. This year, I allowed myself to feel good about myself, to even accept that I can be good at things. While I'll admit to feeling insecure about my abilities every so often, I'm a lot more willing to take credit for my talents as well. I've also treated myself to some little pleasures in life, such as expanding my DVD and CD collections (now with even more Broadway content!), reading more books (Jasper Fforde, Terry Pratchett, Carl Hiaasen, Freakonomics, Blink, and currently reading The Tipping Point), watching more plays and musicals, and, as of yesterday, getting a facial and a massage. I even treated myself to the Jars of Clay concert in Araneta Coliseum this year. I may have gone alone, but it was still one of the best experiences of the past year. 2005 wasn't all peaches and cream, however. My grandmother died last May, for one. And I haven't seen quite a lot of my old friends in a long time. A lot of the negative feelings aren't even my own to begin with. Yet after everything, I'm still merrily rolling along. And now, with only a couple of hours before midnight, it's time to close the book on 2005, and look forward to 2006. I wonder what the new year will bring... ...stay tuned. posted by Ren at 8:40 PM | 0 comments 25 December 2005 Christmas Bells posted by Ren at 12:13 AM | 0 comments 23 December 2005 I Wish I'll admit to struggling with this season year after year. I rarely feel the Christmas spirit, and the cold weather - while nice - isn't helping, since it makes me yearn for... well, whatever. Hehe. And I'll also admit that this year, I've had quite a lot of moments where the whole season was just ticking me off. Things happened that I wish didn't, and more often than not, things that I wanted to happen, well, didn't. I was suffering from the holiday blues as recently as this morning (until well into the afternoon). But with a little help from my friends, I've been experiencing a whole lot more Christmas cheer this year than in previous years. I first experienced the rush when I bought gifts for my friends. Granted, I'm unable to provide gifts for everyone, but just being able to purchase and give gifts was a nice feeling. As difficult as looking for the "perfect gift" was, it was a thrill to finally find something that I knew - somehow - would be perfect for someone. That feeling was reinforced last Wednesday when I finally gave out the gifts. There was a real sense of gratitude (and surprise) when I gave them their gifts. Even better was when some of them opened their gifts and simply adored what I got for them. It brings joy to my heart to see my friends really appreciate what I gave them. I also had one of the best, if not the best, Christmas parties last Wednesday. The blueREP party was rowdy and unpredictable, which isn't a big surprise considering it's blueREP, but the energy and sense of... fun and togetherness was especially strong this time around. I was extremely hyper (and no, not just for shallow reasons) and, well, so was everyone. All the members seemed to forget all the stress and issues and whatever it is that was bugging them and just had fun. Even better: No alcohol was invovled! (We had that after the party proper.) And today, after a crappy day and a half, I watched and listened to the Ateneo Chamber Singers perform Christmas carols. It was a wonderful experience, sitting at the Church of the Gesu and listening to very good choral music. After that, I went to Bellarmine Field to check out the little offerings they had, and bought some food to bring home. I even bumped into two old friends, so that was cool. I've also gotten more gifts than I usually do (particularly in recent years), but that's just icing on the cake. So... yeah, I guess it's a good Christmas after all. ===== I find that making wish lists - and sharing them - a little off. Maybe it's just me, but it's definitely a different rush to search long and hard for the perfect gift, compared to grabbing any random (or affordable) item on a friend's wish list. But here I am creating a list of my own. I'll preface the list by saying this: It's entirely up to you what it is that you give to me. In fact, I don't expect anyone to give me any of the gifts listed below (I'll explain later). For that matter, I don't expect you to give me a gift; if you do, it's awesome, but if you don't, that's awesome too. I just felt like making a list. Now while constructing this list, I was thinking more of the deeper meaning (or subtext, if you will) of the actual gift. While yes, I'm sure that whatever it is you give me is heartfelt, I'm thinking of an even... deeper reason for the gift, ifyouknowwhatImean. In Mia's words, if you give me any one of these, my body is yours. =P This wish list isn't limited to Christmas, of course. It's just a general list of things I'd love to receive from someone very, very special. (Hey, it doesn't even have to be a romantic - or even sexual - kind of special. In other words, if you really want to give me any one of these, even without romantic intentions, that would still be kick-ass. I'm rambling, so let's get on with the list.) 1. A heartfelt live performance of a song. In essence, make me believe that you really mean what you're singing. Actually, there are three songs in particular that would make me melt. In increasing order of preference: "You're Still You" by Josh Groban, "Everything" by Lifehouse, and "All'Improvviso Amore" by Josh Groban. 2. Free or sponsored dance classes/voice lessons/acting workshops. That was in order of decreasing preference. I am in particular want/need of dance lessons, because, well, I can't dance. And while it'd be awesome if you paid for (partially or in full) any of these classes in any of those big-name institutions, it'd also be awesome (and possibly cooler) if you provided and conducted those lessons yourself, hee hee. 3. A trip. Well, not just any trip... I love to travel, so a nice all- (or most-) expenses-paid trip anywhere would be awesome. Extra points the further you lead me from my home. Extra extra points if you're there with me. (Besides, travelling alone isn't fun.) 4. Tickets to a Broadway show. Now this is a longshot, since first you'll have to fulfill #3. And you'd also have to help me process my Visa application. But like I said, the items on this list don't have an expiration date; it's not like I need them by Christmas. But in general, free tickets - concert, movie, play, musical - would be greatly appreciated. (Just make sure it's not material I hate.) The latter half of the list contains more... realistic (and materialistic) wishes, but of course I have my own little quirks when it comes to these things. 6. Original DVD box sets of a TV show I like. Excluding Lost, since I have that already. And excluding Alias (Season Three), since Jepoy did that already (gotta love my blueREP bro). The older and more obscure the show, the cooler the gift. 7. Any new electronics gadgets. Because they tend to be extremely helpful yet ridiculously expensive. Google sent me (and many others, I presume) a gift box with some techie goodies, and life was wonderful. 8. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes and/or The Complete Peanuts. I love both of these comic strips, and I would love to have the beautiful books (or sets of books) that collect every single strip that came out of their respective artists' hands. 9. The Giving Tree and/or The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. I remember reading - or more accurately, having been read to - these two Shel Silverstein books, and I remember loving them book. But it's one thing to be given either book; it would be awesometo get it from someone who was also touched by either book and understands its meaning (or at least has an appreciation for it). I'm a sap that way. 10. Matching bracelets. Like I said, I'm a sap. And bracelets are less... conspicuous than, say, a ring. So that's my hard-to-achieve wish list. Here's hoping someone, somewhere, sometime gives me any of theses. ahahaha... posted by Ren at 10:40 PM | 0 comments 22 December 2005 I'm happy. And yet... not really. It's a strange feeling. There's something that lifts you up, and yet that exact same thing pulls you down. Hmm. I don't really want something to ponder about over the Christmas break, but I guess it's unescapable now. Am rather tipsy as I write this, but... yeah, alcohol dulls the inhibitions and the senses. posted by Ren at 2:51 AM | 0 comments 21 December 2005 Great Big Stuff Yesterday, I was surprised by a call from DHL saying they were going to come on over and deliver a package. Package? I wasn't expecting anything. I didn't remember ordering anything recently, so I was extremely curious about this package. I was out of the house when it arrived, so I checked it out as soon as I got home. Apparently, Google sent out some Christmas gifts to some of its, er, clients (I guess). I got this lovely organizer-like thing which contained a few (notebook) PC gadgets: A 4-slot USB hub, a mini optical mouse, a 64MB flash disc, and a USB notebook light. Awesome! Free stuff is always fun, but free techie stuff kicks ass. On a related note, I've been doing some Christmas shopping lately. It's such a nice rush to find gifts for your friends, and I'm sure it'll be great to see their reactions when they get their gifts (assuming, of course, that they like whatever it is I got them). But it's also incredibly stressful, especially since I just walk and commute in order to get around. Also, it's rather frustrating to be unable to get gifts for everyone you want to give a gift to... I hope my friends understand. On an unrelated note... Of all the times to get a horrible, horrible cold, why now?!?!?! Sigh. This sucks. posted by Ren at 7:59 AM | 0 comments 19 December 2005 I Can Do Better Than That Well, that was an interesting couple of days. First and foremost, thanks to everyone who had a hand in keeping me more or less sane (and, perhaps more importantly, alive) during those days. Of course, you've already helped do that many times in the past, so this is nothing new. Special mention to Karl for helping pick me up on that particularly gloomy Saturday night. I've put that behind me now. Or, well, I'd like to believe that I have. I'd like to think that I'm a slightly "stronger" and/or mature individual compared to who I was last year, but I still get bouts of depression and self-doubt (which will probably never truly go away). And sure, I may have done the single most idiotic thing I have ever done this year (right, Papu and Joy?). But I think my recovery time has become much shorter, and I've bounced back faster (and better) than I have in the past. I'd like to think that I've learned from the past. Maybe I have. So after last weekend... I'm much better now, thankyouverymuch. I'll look back on those couple of days and laugh. I'm back to being happy, being thankful and grateful I have the opportunity to be so fully immersed in what I love. Heck, next month alone, I have four or five theater-related projects lined up. Plus I have a little more time now to hang out at Galian with my friends. Here's hoping the last few days were really an exception rather than the rule. posted by Ren at 1:56 PM | 0 comments 18 December 2005 Why God Why Well then. Whatever it is I'm going through... it's a strange feeling. It's both liberating and entrapping. It's both glorious and sorrowful. And you'd think I'd kind of get used to... life, but no. I'm grateful for what I have, but I mourn for what could have been (or what I wish were true, anyhoo). Just let me wallow in my depression while I enjoy my ecstasy. It'll all sort itself out. EDIT: Just a few minutes later, I check out Karl's blog, and I chat with him for a bit. Somehow, it's made a difference. Thanks Karl. posted by Ren at 12:34 AM | 0 comments 16 December 2005 Fucked Up. I have a knack for screwing things up. Sigh... I love theater because it allows me to escape my crappy fucked-up life. I suck at living. posted by Ren at 11:28 PM | 0 comments 14 December 2005 Last Chance to Watch Sampung Minuto Bago Makaraos  SAMPUNG MINUTO BAGO MAKARAOS. December 16 and 17, January 7 and 14. 7:30pm. 2nd Floor FORAB Building, 121 Kamuning Road, Quezon City. Tickets are 200 pesos each. For ticket reservations, leave a comment, tag or txt me, or call Koine at 410-4485. WATCH! posted by Ren at 11:35 PM | 0 comments 13 December 2005 Exhaustion I am exhausted. I don't know how to muster the strength to pull through for the rest of the week. And it's only Tuesday! Oddly enough, it doesn't help that I won't be attending Sweet Charity rehearsals until Saturday. As exhausting as those rehearsals are, they're also ultimately exhilerating, particularly socially. Blecch. Well, at least I'm getting exhausted because I'm doing something I love... posted by Ren at 11:01 PM | 0 comments 11 December 2005 Merrily We Roll Along A year and a day ago, Merrily We Roll Along opened. Has it really been a year? blueREP has been responsible for quite a few turning points in my life (both professional and personal), but the Merrily We Roll Along experience will always stand out among the rest. It was the show that more or less set my career path, that steered me away (for good) from the corporate life into the theater industry. It was the show that taught me the importance of tending to your dream, even as dreams take time. It was the show that trained me in the ways of professional theater. A lot has happened since then. I'd like to believe I've grown as a person since last year. I read my old LJ entries, and, well, a lot of them weren't pretty. I was very insecure not only as an actor and performer, but as a person in general. Now... Well, I'm still insecure, but I'm not as harsh on myself as I used to be. Sure, there are still times when I feel down on myself, and I do or think stupid things, but they're becoming fewer, and when I experience them, I (try to) bounce back from them faster. At one point during the process of putting up Merrily, I promised to a few castmates that I wouldn't "sell out" like Frank did in the play. We promised to stick to our dreams and our general desire to keep doing and pursuing theater for the foreseeable future. Looks like I'm on the right track. And now, one year after Merrily We Roll Along, I'm still merrily rolling along, tending to my dreams. Hopefully, in the future, if someone asks, "How did you get to be here?" I'll know exactly what to answer. We're opening doors, singing, "Here we are!" We're filling up days on a dime. That faraway shore's looking not too far. We're following every star — There's not enough time! We're banging on doors, shouting, "Here again!" We're risking it all on a dime. That faraway shore's looking near again, The only thing left is when, We know we should count to ten — We haven't got time! We haven't got time! posted by Ren at 9:52 PM | 0 comments 10 December 2005 The Friday Five - 09 December 2005 Yes, I'm always a day late with this. Haha. Taken from The Friday Five. 1. What did you want to be when you grew up? I always wanted to be a doctor. 2. Did you follow through? If not, what happened? Er, no. High School Biology (2nd year) happened - specifically, frog dissection. I realized just how squeamish I was. I didn't have the stomach to be a doctor. That line of thinking was reinforced in freshman year of college, during Zoology. 3. Is your life turning out the way you thought it would when you were a kid? If not, is it better or worse? Well, it's definitely not turning out the way I thought it would be. I guess it's better, because I always thought I'd either be a doctor or one of those Makati business people... And now, I definitely do not want to be a corporate drone. Viva La Vie Boheme! (Heh.) 4. Paradoxes aside, if you could time-travel back to when you were 10 years old, what would you tell your 10-year-old self? Well, for starters, I don't really regret decisions I make, because they helped shape who I am. But, well, perhaps I'd tell him to take voice lessons, acting lessons, dance lessons, musical theater workshops, and learn an instrument. Those skills would come in handy now. 5. Do you think the child you were, would like the adult you've become? I think the child I was would be creeped out by the adult I've become. Heh. posted by Ren at 8:40 AM | 0 comments 08 December 2005 The Joy You Feel Well, the last two weeks have been absolute madness! And I mean that in the best way possible. I honestly don't know where to begin, so I'll just enumerate the many reasons why I'm so... happy (I guess) at the moment. Sweet Charity rehearsals are in full swing. We're more or less done with music rehearsals (or at least learning the songs), but of course we'll need to work on getting our notes absolutely right as well as timing it to the minus one. Still, it was nice to finally sing Herman's song, "I Love to Cry at Weddings," at the right key. We also finished blocking the entire play last week, so at least we have the basics down pat. And then there's choreography. Choreography started this week, and man, I can feel it. Literally. My muscles - particularly my leg muscles - are aching like heck. I've never really been much of a dancer, yet I'm always excited about doing new dances and choreo. It's a challenge I'm willing to take on. Sure, I don't always get the steps perfect, but I'd like to believe I'm driven enough to make sure I get it right. If there's one thing I'll have to master by the end of Sweet Charity, it's being able to dance and sing and act at the same time. Whattaconcept. We've finished doing choreography for "Big Spender" (which involves only the girls, so I'm obviously not in it), "I'm a Brass Band" (guys-only this time around), and "Rhythm of Life" (everyone's in this one). It's hard, but it's fun. I love it! (Besides, I'm sure I'll lose weight because of all this.) A gazillion thanks to Kyla for the choreography. Speaking of Sweet Charity and blueREP, the org was featured on QTV Channel 11 a week ago, on a segment called SYBORG: School Year's Best ORG. It featured interviews with Chari Arespacochaga, GeeGee Primavera, and Kakki Teodoro. They shot some footage from rehearsals a couple of Saturdays ago, so the clip included a few shots of me, including me screeching out my first line, as well as screaming out the end to "Rhythm of Life." Cut to me laughing my head off seeing that part, followed by an intense desire to bury my head in the sand. Still, it's nice to see my org featured so... lovingly on national TV. (Even if it's likely that the only people who got to see it are other blueREPpers.) From one theater group to the next... Koine. We finally opened Sampung Minuto Bago Makaraos two weekends ago, and it was... Meh. Definitely could have been better; those were two shows I kind of wish never happened, but at the same time, they helped us all improve for the succeeding shows. Which is exactly what happened. We had our best shows (so far) last weekend, and I'm very happy with how the show has turned out so far. Definitely some room for improvement, as always, but I'm glad it's going well. You can watch Sampung Minuto Bago Makaraos on December 9, 10, 16, and 17, 7:30pm, at the 2nd Floor FORAB Building, 121 Kamuning Road, Quezon City. Tag, txt, or email me for details, if you're interested. Niel also recruited me to be assistant director for December Hints of Mistletoe, a Christmas show we're putting up for Temple Hill International School. It's a challenge, and I'm honored Niel thinks well enough of me to consider me for the job. The show is on Friday next week... Let's hope it goes well. Oh, and do check out the December issue of Fudge Magazine... There's a positive review of SAWI and Starring Miss Lea SalonDa. My name gets mentioned! Yay! So yeah, my theater life is in high gear right now, and it's absolutely exhilerating. As for my personal life... Well, that's going well too, thankyouverymuch. So far, so good. (I'm not big on details, but in short, I'm not as... angsty as I tend to be.) Let's see how long that lasts. (Cautious optimism always works for me.) If I had to change one thing about my life... I definitely want my friends to work out their problems and stuff. I've always been greatly affected by my friends' lives, and it sucks that I feel so helpless sometimes when it comes to trying to, uhh, help them. But I've accepted that I can't fix their lives by myself, so the most I can do is to simply be there for them... and I hope I'm fulfilling my end of the deal. But that aside... I'm happy. I'm doing what I really want to do, and while life may not be perfect, it's pretty damned good. posted by Ren at 11:19 PM | 2 comments |
ATTEND THE TALE OF... Ren Robles. Male. 24. Filipino. Professional theater actor. Proud blueREPper, Koine actor, and now Rep actor as well.
My LiveJournal My Multiply Asian Theatre Circuit blueREPERTORY blueREP Pictures blueREP Blog Koine One Acts Lost-TV TALK TO ME LIKE IT WAS Let the Journey Continue... Live Like You Were Dying New Year's Resolution: Blog More! Life is Swinging... Christmas Spirit, and Wide-Eyed Joy Looking Back at 2006 Still Sick, Bah! Sick Um, Yeah. Feels Like Home TIME WARP July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 January 2004 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 April 2007
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